Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Birthday Wish

We often busy catching up other things without ever knowing that good things are already around us...and yet we oftenly sighing about what's less without eyeing on what we got in our hand...
And for a birthday, it doesnt need much to make 12 am as 'a day' where all that it takes is just some sweet words from sweet friends...
I've been knowing friends: those who take things and comeback, those who give things and lost, those who laid back and win, those who gain and never appreciate, those who success and humble...and here i am, standing to be the best man i can ever be to my friends...trust me, i've been walking with the queen...i've been talking with the king, and that is what makes me today...thank you...
and what i can say is; not everything you give will be acknowledged, not everything you take will be realized, not everything you sacrified will be cherished... it's just as simple as: you wish 'Happy Birthday! may god bless you' to 12 of your friends...and trust me, you'll only get 5 that will wish you back...ans those, are your truly friends, insya Allah...

Ridhwan (you wish me 2 times)
Nazrin (you wish me 2 times)
Putri Nadzirah
Nur Atiqah
Along =)

thank u. thank u. thank u.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Final Ever Virus Ever Result (what the hell??? -short form for fever.. =P)

sigh... its been sometimes since my last fever and now it is come back... why??? i never liked you fever,, i never welcome you at all, too...

you know how sick you can be with your hair stand all over inside your sweater... when you drink a lot but what you feel is getting hotter... when people want to touch you but being obstructed by words: "eeyyy...dia demam la...dia demam....jangan...nanti berjangkit".. huhu...

please....just go away, fever...

p/s: thanks for showing some care.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Good Morning, Elham... =)

Heyyy...today's start with a morning jog...
and i cant believe that i made 4 rounds around d jog park at klcc...
it was supposed to be my morn's out with so'od initially before he texted me and cancelled the plan on the very last minute... (odddd... fcuc youuuu...!!! =P)

and do you know what it feel to breathe around the morning trees, watching birds get its early breakfast where people with full of soul walking together...they just remind me of the old song called What A Wonderful World...

and yes... life is wonderful when you're appreciate it... =)

And to nadzirah, who asked me about my girlfriend... i know you're waiting for the answer and so my answer is: i dont have any gf laaaa.... huhu... sorry didnt reply to you lastr night....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Sebenarnya hati ini cinta kepada Mu
Sebenarnya diri ini rindu kepada Mu
Tapi aku tidak mengerti
Mengapa cinta masih tak hadir
Tapi aku tidak mengerti
Mengapa rindu belum berbunga

Sesungguhnya walau ku kutip
Semua permata di dasar lautan
Sesungguhnya walau ku siram
Dengan air hujan dari tujuh langit Mu
Namun cinta tak kan hadir
Namun rindu takkan ber bunga

Ku cuba menghulurkan
Sebuah hadiah kepada Mu
Tapi mungkin kerana isinya
Tidak sempurna tiada seri

Ku cuba menyiramnya
Agar tumbuh dan berbunga
Tapi mungkin kerana airnya
Tidak sesegar telaga kauthar

Sesungguhnya walau ku kutip
Semua permata di dasar lautan
Sesungguhnya walau ku siram
Dengan air hujan dari tujuh langit Mu
Namun cinta tak kan hadir
Namun rindu tak akan berbunga
Jika tidak mengharap rahmat Mu
Jika tidak menagih simpati
Pada Mu ya Allah

Tuhan hadiahkanlah kasih Mu kepadaku
Tuhan kurniakanlah rinduku kepada Mu
Moga ku tahu
Syukur ku hanyalah milik Mu

A Cursed November.

Hey november...

On the very first of Nov i had my break up

Then my class mate broke up too

Then Ridh got some problems on Nov

I went to myspace, fs and facebook then, all of my friends broke up, too

I've spent so much money on nothing on this month

I got news that i can't go to Bandung on this month too.

I had my exam on this month.

So, recently about 7-8 of my friends who broke up after me..
What a weird month...

p/s: someone was borned on November 11th...she brought curse to me before..so after she's gone the curse is still there.. and infecting my friend too,,??? what the hell???


Gosh... this is the the most freaking geek belief i ever heard of...

well, let's take a look at the definition via wikipedia..

The word "Scientology", according to Hubbard, comes from the Latin word "scire" that means "to know" and the Greek word "logos" meaning "word" or "story." Scientology would thus mean "knowing words" or "knowing stories".[citation needed] Although today associated almost exclusively with Hubbard's philosophy, the word "scientology" predates his usage by several decades. An early use of the word was as a neologism in an 1871 book by the American anarchist Stephen Pearl Andrews presenting "the newly discovered Science of the Universe".[8] Philologist Allen Upward used the word "scientology" in his 1901 book The New Word as a synonym for "pseudoscience,"[9] and this is sometimes cited as the first coining of the word

From what i know, basically scientology is a religion that declining the faith...like they're declining the existence of God bcuz they don't see Him. So they're believe in things they've seen or discovered.
And the most nerdy part is they believe that aliens exist in human's body... they believed it altho i dont think that all the scientologist have ever seen the aliens...

Weird. Geek. What A Belief!

I just wanna Thank You...

For reading my blog.
Really, u and me got nothing much to say.
and that's why i made these 3 lines from the whole space, i guess.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Best Friend And His Ex

Soon as i woke up and hitting some stuff into my stomach, i went to my best friend's blog and saw he writting smthing about his past with his ex...
Well, from what i knw from him that he's actually frustrated and angry with his ex....and to know how hurted he was, is what taught me to be stronger just like him...
but what he wrote on the blog seems different...when his writting tells an apology and appreciation to his ex, i started to wonder...

we're man, and people said that man can't cry, but man is a human being too...
man can't cry: and we wouldn't cry unless it's really hurting us, smething that women never figured that when they made a man cried, they had hurt that man to the fullest..
and we, i mean me and my best friend, who had been screwed, we're still holding the madness inside,,but wayy tooo deep the wound still dere to be touched and healed, we still wanna say thanks and express the frustrated feels inside...

and from what i learnt from eqa is, we love anyONe else, where in fact there's a LOT of friends loving us back...

it's amazing you know, learning without never being taught. =)

Monday, December 15, 2008

I am

i lost her
it's heavy.
to be back into single status knowing she's not here.
but i aint got no choice.
i know that i must
and i know that i'm not alone.
eventho i'm single.

Special thanks and hugs to Eqa (I appreciate you... thank you for hearing my stories)

Introducing you My Best Friend a.k.a. Nuroll Attiqah Kamaroll Zaman,,

i did hurt her. i did saved her. i did made her cried. i did telling her heart that i'm suck. i did left her. and now i did telling secrets to her... and still, she did want to listen, go through every obstacle, diagnosing pain in the ass and carrying the weight that i'm supposed to carry alone..
she's not a friend...matter of fact, she's more than a lover to me...
and way too deep, i finally managed to see why you're always being a special person to me... and this time i would like to dedicate this space for you...to fill in my words that i never let you know....

you're a miracle that happened once in my life
you're teacher that taught me once, but stayed for the rest of my life
you're the ambition, that tells me what to do, and yet you're not forcing
you're like the firefighter, that saves me and yet very humble to say that you're not

and God knows why He gave you happiness...one thing that i never gave you before, friend...

thank you...
when you called me, asking about me..no matter how hard the world hitting me...it's not so bad when you're there...
when all of you there: my family, ma, dad, sister and eiman, eqa, ridh, nazrin, jacky and sa'dy...

Special thanks to Ridhwan

and special thanks to this homie... for being there, and giving some jokes to make me always laugh... you're a great friend buddy, in fact, the greatest i ever had.... you're my best friend...best friend forever...thanks a lot...

this one for you, buddy:

God will take you through hell, just to get you to heaven
So even tho it's heavy, the load I will carry
Grin and still bear it, win and still share it
Apologies to the fans, I hope you can understand it
Life can change ya direction, even when you ain't planned it
All you can do it handle it, worst thing you can do is panic
Use it to your advantage, avoid insanity manage
To conquer, every obstacle, make impossible possible
Even when winning illogical, losing still far from optional

thanks buddy..

Special thanks to Sa'dy...

sa'dy you know my condition, i love your song pick, can you suggest me any song that suitable with me ryte now? and sa'dy replied: zikrullah, thats the best song, try it...

a quote from you that i still remember and always will...

you made me saying this again: can you suggest me a song, sa'dy? =)

thank you!!!

Special thanks to Nazrin

bro... u might never gonna see my blog... but that doesnt mean that i will never write about you... sigh, world is oftenly unfair towards us, especially you... but trust me...those who really know you...did find the meaning of what true friendship really was...
you're one place to tell, one place to give secret, one place to share...and theres never been a regret in knowing you...
i'll never forget thie pizza you bought for us, big suprise bro...thank you!!!!...very much... =)

Special thanks to jacky =)

this one kind of friend. i can say she's sweet, well she really is... we never really close before aite, but God said, when you lose something, you'll gain something... and maybe... she's one of the gift that God gave to me...a new friendship... and by means of appreciation, prayers and wishing well i really would like to say to her, miss jacky...a very much thank you for being there...

to her, don't give up... gosh,,,that boy never deserved you... and its good to know you've moved on... smiling, laughing and enjoying over there where i'm here wishing i could see youre smiling with my eyes, first hand...

it is proven and yet been told, that as you help people, you are actually curing yourself too...

jack...she's sweet, she should have someone sweet... there's one hero waiting for you, he's perfect and made for you...havent i told you that? =)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I should have started running long long time ago

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
And I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Dey Says

God says; Verily, with every difficulties there must be a blessing in disguise...

Idiom says; Bad things happened back to bad people, good things happened back to good people

Rasulullah s.a.w. says; Doing good things to bad people is the sharpest payback...

Justin Timberlake says; what goes around comes around...

And i have to nod to all...

Friday, December 12, 2008


oh God... I don't deserve to Thy Heaven
Yet I can't stand to Thy Hell either
Please, forgive my sins, accept my repentance
Only Thou, The Forgiving for great sins
My sins are as the sands in the beach
With Thy mercy, please forgive me... oh my God
oh my God... please save us
From all kinds of evils and woe
We fear, we hope unto Thee
Please enrich our love unto Thee
We, the slaves whose hopes are in Thy pity

A Thought

Say (O Muhammad): Who is Lord of the heavens and the earth?
Say: Allah.
Say: Take ye then (others) beside Him for protectors, which, even for themselves, have neither benefit nor hurt?
Say: Is the blind man equal to the seer, or is darkness equal to light?
Or assign they unto Allah partners who created the like of His creation so that the creation (which they made and His creation) seemed alike to them?
Say: Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is the One, the Almighty.


Last night i had a dream... a weird kind of dreams...
It's like... God bringing the secrets and unfolded it to me...
I got a chance to get to know 'her' feeling better...
I got a chance to ask my friend something that i wanna ask but i can't
I got to meet everyone i want to meet
....and the answer feels really there for everything i want to know...
the question of wisdom...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

November Rain

I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the light
Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night
I thank God at least I got to know what love really was
But it hurt me, to see what true love really does'
Cause even though we never made love, you were all that there was
Hold the person that you love closely if they're next to you
The one you love, not the person that'll simply have sex with you
Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then beyond'
Cause you never really know what you got, until it's gone

Bit of history...

Whoa! nothing make me shiver as I'm looking through the glasses in the museum at Melaka... how can you not feeling touched reading the story of the 'spirited' warriors that protect the country...
and there i am...the notes leaving me with no words... so embarrassed to not answering the question i asked to myself, "elham, can you do the same thing, like how our warriors did?"
and i really, really out of words to say.
just a heart shiver that beating hard.
and I'm reading history, once again, like i never knew history at all... =)

Goodnight, Elham......

huh... something awake me this morning... and its about 3.35 am... there's a sound of music.. and in the dizziness i thought it was the sound of my ringtone... is it 'you' calling?? oh.... my heart smiles and leaps to the sky..!!!!
....gosh... no, it wasnt 'you'... just an Mp3 song from my handphone that i forgot to turn off... i checked my handphone... just to be looking foolish to myself to get to my inbox... who knows if 'you' might sending me a goodnyte message that i forgot to read...or even, 'Elham i had a nightmare, please comfort me...'.... but again, i'm wrong....

for me and myself, sharing the darkness and silence... only my hard breath is the voice on the air... that's the time where i hope you call....just to say hi... and maybe,,, 'i miss you, i love you, i'm sorry for leaving you' would make me feel better...

i'm trying to sleep... without hope of good dreams, but at leat; sleeping with smile...no cry please....you can elham...yes you can...you never cried for tougher things you faced before...why you must cry for things like this....

smileeee....dont cry......sleep tight, elham...goodnight....


but i failed. again. for many nights that i didnt counted on.

Corner of a sheet

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you
walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you,
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thank You

My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

I drank too much last night,
got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad and

I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm
home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
Songs for: eqa, ridhwan, sa'dy, nazrin, jack
thanks for being there...

Rizqi Firman Sudeis

I pretended I'm okay you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around
1-The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

Whom It May Concern

There are this atheist girl who asked me about God...
duhh... why do we need God...
Knapa everything asyik back to the God,,, takde cara lain ke?
and... you xnak buat tattoo ke? It's okey, nanti tuhan maafkan you...
as well as... my mum said Islam are for bad people...
on top of... "what is Pekida, it's about Islam right, so Pekida act like mobsters and was that the reflection of true Islam??... tak protect perempuan langsung...///... Pekida got a mobsters? COOL...."

ah-ha...and this girl made me stumbled bu her questions... lol... its not that i dont know how to explain... but the questions of God are too artistic and beautiful... and with a short SMS length that i can fit my word into, i'll have to give out extra credit for the simple plain answer... but it's okay... people want to learn, who are we not to teach the Lessons Of Him?

so, we talked, questioned and gve out answers...

May God will give her guidance one day...

* guys, we dont need Pekida ways... Some of Pekida members are not carrying out the true Islam duties..( sorry, brothers..) Just hold on to Al-Quran and Sunnah....we need Muhammad's ways...it's way tooooo beautiful.... =D

Sorry adik-beradikku, i never mean to diss you guys..but this is the fact of today...///

Yesterday On Saturday

it was like routine on every sunday night that me and the rest of the family are flying off to kelang for a muzakara. so daddy told that muzakara can strengthen our iman.
it was like a different surrounding being there.. some kind of peaceful thingy that are too abstract.Like...... it made other peaceful thing feels not peaceful. i mean, it's really really peaceful... its so peaceful... you got it...? it's just peaceful... i mean, its peaceful that it is full of peace... =D
and i like that night's topic...kind of related to me... and family generally...

so we sit, talked and discussed things on Quran and Hadith... and that night's topic came to Test By Allah, Rezeki and we really shouldn't questioned Allah for things that happened...

it made me think... who are we,,, we're just His creation anyway....